Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Depression

Okay, no pictures or the usual base theatrics....

Depression is a periodic theme in my life. I have been feeling it worse and worse lately, but I've noticed, my general disposition hides it so well, that when I mention the slightest bit of instability, or change to said disposition, people just laugh at me like I know nothing of what I'm talking about. I'm going to go on record saying I will be the goddamn last person to ever pull the trigger. That's not to say I haven't held the gun before. That's mostly figurative... mostly. Not like it matters, but still...

I think suicide is bullshit, that's not to say I haven't contemplated it in the past. I have. At some point, we all have. It's those little nagging thoughts that really drive it all home. Little thoughts like "It's not good enough," "you're ugly," "nobody gives a shit." I don't know what sets this off in people, But we are all prone to it every once in a while...

Oh well... I'm tired of being told off every time I say I have a problem... I'm sorry my problems aren't as immediately detrimental as yours may be, but still, they are still problems to me. They won't go away because your problems are worse, they won't suddenly get better because some kid got shot or something... I don't mean to sound selfish, but GOD DAMMIT... I just don't give a shit anymore...

I may be depressed, but fuck it, I'm gonna keep smiling. I won't say I don't care anymore... because I still care, I just won't listen to anyone else about what I'm feeling, or how I'm feeling. I guess, since i'm feeling a bit less shitty, have a random picture.... courtesy of my picture folder....


yeah that'll do.... later

No comments:

Post a Comment